A New Confusion

I went to bed Friday night with my subconscious red-flagging me. I had been preparing myself for months, since this was not something that I could just transition to in one day. However, I had been lagging behind in my preparations, due to the fact that I didn't want to think about it. Because, of course, thinking about it meant it was destined to happen.

Well, the inevitable finally occurred early Saturday morning. I was lying in bed, watching the best action-drama series of all-time with my beloved wife, 24, when I was suddenly compelled to grab my phone and look at the time. It was midnight. 12:00am, on February 18th, the year of our Lord, 2012. For most people on this earth, this would be of no significance, but for Amy and I, that day marked the end of an era. Our oldest daughter, Megan, was now 20 years old! How did this happen? Where had the time gone?

All of a sudden, we had one less tax deduction, and were now (gasp) old! I paused, in silent contemplation, as these realizations sank in. I didn't want to be 'old'! Those gray hairs that sprout daily, were really just ones doused in white paint from my job. Those creaks and cracks, and pains were only temporary ailments and were most definitely not because my body had started decaying, I reasoned. Megan may now be 20 years old, but there was no way that Amy and I were fossils yet! We hadn't accomplished anything yet in our lives to make us old. There had to be an explanation that would allow me to save face and defy the space-time continuum. All I had to do was find it. I searched and searched (for a good 5 minutes), and eventually determined that Megan has been aging at approximately a 1.5:1 ratio over Amy and me. It's the only thing that made sense. So, it seems that we are destined to have our kids pass us in physical age but remain younger in numerical age. In the end, that makes me feel a whole heck of a lot better, and that's all that matters, right?